Geek Life

A Few Thoughts on My Absence

Okay. It’s been a while. But it’s also been a very weird year.

I fell in love.

I lost a cat.

I moved, twice.

I became an auntie.

I gained a brother in-law.

I started a new film column.

I retired my film column.

I joined the cast of a radio show/podcast.

I quit working for an upstart distribution company.

And a whole bunch of other stuff that isn’t nearly as interesting, but was still time consuming.

I guess the oddest thing of all was that I chose to step back from film reviewing. Aside from Sound on Sight, I’ve found that not only do I not have time to write film reviews, I’m not even sure I want to.

For a long time, film was my #1 passion in life. I wanted nothing more than to be a professional film critic, even managed to get paid a handful of times. But criticism has changed. Journalism has changed. The idea of paying someone to write film reviews when a random collection of yahoos is already doing it for free on an internationally accessible outlet seems ludicrous these days. Unlike other critics, I wasn’t just a frustrated script writer. I believed in criticism. I believed in the role of the critic. But somewhere along the way, I lost my voice.

The whole universe of film making and filmmakers suddenly became extremely unappealing. Everywhere I was surrounded by people looking for things from me. “Review my movie…” “Read my script…” “Promote my company…” Film making was a culture of takers. These people weren’t my friends, they were “contacts.” And while I understand that that’s how things work, I also saw that a) I didn’t really have time to participate and b) I didn’t really want to.

While I love, love, LOVE being a host on Sound of Sight, I just don’t have the will at this point to continue beyond that. Maybe my feelings will change one day, but for right now I’d like to pursue other interests. Play some video games. Read some books. Work on some other projects.

And hopefully update this blog more often.

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1 Comment

  • Reply
    Kendall Ashley
    May 29, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    I’m glad you’re back, in whatever form that will take moving forward. Also, congrats on being an aunt!! My only sibling just had his first kid, and I’m just thrilled. Aunthood is marvelous, isn’t it?

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